Self-care is more than soothing.
Wondering why your self-care isn’t working? You might be soothing instead.
Soothing vs. Self-Care
Soothing and self-care are two different (but related) things. Self-care is everything we do to replenish ourselves, personally and professionally.
In contrast, soothing is any activity that calms us, lowers physiological overarousal, and makes us feel better in the moment.
Think: bubble paths, punching a pillow, petting a dog.
While self-care can include soothing activities, soothing is only one aspect of self-care.
Or, in other words: If your self-care consists of nothing but soothing activities, it might not work in the long term.
Soothing Gives Self-Care a Bad Rap
Many people hear “self-care” and think “soothing” instead. We picture bubble baths, wine, and binge-watching Bridgerton.
There is a place for soothing in our self-care choices. But soothing alone is not enough. You cannot bubble bath your way into wellness.
Are you soothing too much?
Sometimes I work with people who have given up on self-care, declaring that it doesn’t work.
When I dig deeper, we realize it isn’t working because they are only soothing.
While soothing feels good – and is good for us – it won’t address issues like having too much work to manage, time pressure, or needing better boundaries. For that, we need self-care.
In self-care solidarity,
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