This is the secret to self-care success*
*Except “success” is terribly achievement focused, and we’re not here to “win” with self-care, so let’s be gentle with that phrasing
In 2010 I began my “dream” tenure-track job as an Assistant Professor, and I was determined to approach my well-being differently than I had in graduate school (where I basically opted out of well-being). This led me to a personal deep dive into the world of self-care.
Almost exclusively, self-care advice focuses on education. It tells us what to do: exercise, practice good sleep hygiene, have a bubble bath, eat broccoli, practice mindfulness, and a million other activities you might or might not have any interest in doing.
“DUH.” was my reaction to this literature.
I already had some ideas of what to do (and it wasn’t hard to brainstorm some more). What I needed to know was how to do self-care in the context of my actual life.
There was zero research on that – so my dive became a professional one.
Okay blah blah, what’s the “secret sauce”?
Dr. Jessica Campoli, clinical psychologist and former grad student extraordinaire,** used her dissertation to understand this secret sauce. She interviewed students in health professional programs about their self-care journeys, building a theory of how solid and successful self-care practices develop.
Jessica found that with enough practice, people get pretty great at doing self-care in a way that becomes easy, automatic, and just part of who they are.
The secret sauce is persistence.
That’s it. Like many things in life, the way we become better at looking after ourselves is by practicing. Trying different things. Tweaking our process. Trial and error.
**note, all my grad students are extraordinaire
Two crucial implications of practice.
There are 2 implications of practice being the secret sauce ingredient:
#1 – if practice makes perfect, then there is no self-care failure. What we might label as “failed” self-care is merely more practice. Every act of self-care you try is inherently successful because… you practiced!
#2 – if persistence is all it takes, then anyone can do self-care. We all can and have practiced something before.
So, how are you going to practice this week?
In self-care solidarity,
